Your last day
If I had known that it was your last day
I would have thanked you,
Though my thanks are small and mean
Compared to all the love you gave.
But I did not, so when you told me that you loved me
As you did, always, all I said was ‘yeah’
And went about the grey-grind morning.
Now all the time is spent, and there is no return
To that warm land where we once played
And you would frolic, love in every minute
Grasping every moment as a gift
Smiling at the sheer joyness of it all
Lighting all the world by being.
And now I know, and knowing is such pain
How much you meant, too late –
Too late to say you lived in everything
My heart, my life, my noonday sun,
My boy. And never once again
To see your dear, dear face,
Or light my day the love that filled your eyes.
Now I howl, into that vast absence
My thanks, too late, for your brave, generous heart.
My day is still, for you gave me my action
The hollow of my soul breaks, I would give
My all, just for the chance to say
I love you, always, there on your last day.